Family

I've been having a hard time sleeping lately.
My mind is full of questions about my future. To be totally honest, it can be exhausting.

In another month or so I'm going to start homeschooling an 8th grader. (along with 3 other grades...) If you don't homeschool, you may not understand the anxiety that goes with teaching the upper grades. It can feel like a blanket on me. The pressure to do right by my kids and Jim.

I took this picture of my firstborn kiddo yesterday and it made me smile. A: because my Nikon rocks. :) and B: because I see him inching further towards becoming a man. I can't believe that in 5 years I can say that I've homeschooled a child from preschool to highschool. WHOA.

I'm instrumental in helping him be all that God wants him to be. There is no arrogance to that. It's just the truth.
Jim and I have prayed for this kid since his conception. Truly. I don't want to let anyone down. I don't want to let Nathan down. I don't want to dissapoint my husband. I don't want to further malign homeschooling by not preparing him for life. I want to succeed.

But what is success?

What would have to happen for me to look back on my raising my kids and for me to be SATISFIED.
PROUD.
HAPPY.

I can honestly say that I would jump for joy if they did well on their SAT's or ACT's. I'm not all fairies and unicorns. I am an honest woman. I'd be happy for them. My firstborn daughter wants to be a physical therapist, which requires doing well on these tests. It's my job to prepare her.

But let's assume that they kick butt on their tests, but they don't LOVE their family? That they don't honor Jim and I? (not because we're super dee duper, but because the Bible says that it'll go WELL WITH THEM if they do....)

I would consider myself as having failed.
All this time and effort would have been totally worthless.
Every school system is churning out kids that don't give a hoot about their family. I would have done nothing extraordinary.

My kids would have been like every other kid. Dispising of siblings, arrogantly ignoring parental instruction and not tolerant of children and the elderly.

So my goal this coming schoolyear is pretty simple. Along with the normal academics and artistic pursuits and sports and 'stuff' that can fill a schoolyear....I am going to have a word that focuses me.
That word is FAMILY.

84

My 84 year old grandpa gave his life to The Lord this past week... Eighty four folks! He called my aunt and told her that it might sounds weird to others, but that he KNEW that Jesus loved him.

Don't give up on people.

84.
It took him EIGHTY FOUR YEARS...but God didn't give up on him.

Here's my grandpa this summer doing what he loves...playing music.

Every day.

Don't take for granted that your husband goes to work every day.
Don't take for granted that he feels a burden to provide for YOU.
That he wants to take care of you, give you MORE than he's giving...

That he deals with the creeps in the world outside your nest so you don't have to.
That he breaks his back, or gets bleary eyed looking at numbers, or deals with cranky customers...for you.
That the highlight of his day is coming home to you.

Make it a real highlight for him.

Thank you my sweet, darling husband for doing it day after day for ME. I am humbled and grateful.